All's fair in love and donuts
by veatariel
Summary: What happens when Vash and Meryl have their biggest fight ever? It is up to Wolfwood and Milly to fix things up.


Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. They belong to the great and talented  
Yasuhiro Nightow (all grovel at his feet). I'm just borrowing them for a while. Please  
don't sue, I'm just a poor college student.  
  
Author's note: Sorry for the long wait but I'll post the next few chapters and the epilogue  
for my other fic in a week. I'm not a staunch VxM supporter but after a weird KxM fic which  
inspired this story, I might as well be. Please, R/R.  
  
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All's Fair in Love and Donuts  
  
  
  
"Now look what you've done you insensitive, clumsy oaf!"  
  
"What the heck are you talking about? It's your fault too!"  
  
"You're the one solely responsible for this mess!"  
  
"Me?!? It was your idea to have a drink in the first place!"  
  
"Idiot!"  
  
"AM NOT!"  
  
"YES YOU ARE!"  
  
"Not!"  
  
The piercing high-pitched scream of a spiky-haired, blond and red clad outlaw filled the  
early evening air. Nicholas D. Wolfwood sighed and lit a match. Milly Thompson looked  
on disapprovingly. "Heaven help us all," he said, in between puffs. "If I hadn't known  
better, I could have sworn that those two were married."  
  
"Demo, Bokushi-san. Senpai is just a little high strung tonight. They get along splendidly  
most of the time!" Milly exclaimed a little indignantly, conveniently forgetting the many  
incidents of Vash-bashing, courtesy of the short, hot-tempered brunette.  
  
Wolfwood let out a little snort. He stomped out the cigarette butt. "Yes, and let's not  
forget the little 'incidents' that usually happen after their lively conversations."  
  
Milly winced. The last time an argument had broken out between Vash and Meryl, gunmen were  
robbing a saloon they had been relaxing in. Of course, even with all the Humanoid Typhoon's   
best intentions of helping thwart the thugs, the ramshackle little saloon fell apart with  
the intensity of the gunfight. Meryl wasn't so happy even when order was restored. The  
building was insured by the Bernardelli Society, and she was stuck in her hotel room, filling  
out forms and writing letters to the main office. Then her animosity towards our little  
hero escalated to titanic proportions. They couldn't even speak to each other without a fight  
breaking out between them.  
  
"That's it! If you couldn't at least stop causing so much trouble, don't even bother to turn  
to us if you need help!" One figure in white stomped off to her room.  
  
"Fine! You're terrible company anyway!" Another in scarlet went off to the opposite direction  
and an audible bang of the hotel room door shook the foundations a few seconds later.  
  
Wolfwood and Milly shared glances and each went off in their own separate ways to establish  
order among the two.  
  
"Hey! Tongari! Wait up!"  
  
"Senpai! Open the door! My pudding is inside with you. SENPAIII!!!  
  
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He found the blond gunman, sitting on the edge of a cliff. Vash was running his hands through  
the sand grains and watching them fall into the precipice. The priest in black clamped his   
hand lightly on his left shoulder and the next thing he knew, he was lying on his back, with  
a machine gun hovering inches away from his face.  
  
"Tongari?!?"  
  
Wolfwood let out his breath. He hadn't noticed that he had stopped breathing in the first  
place. The gun slid back to its mechanical sheath. "Sorry . . . I guess . . . that I wasn't  
quite myself back there." Vash apologized, once again returning to his seated position.  
  
"Nick?" Where's Meryl?"   
  
The one being spoken to picked himself off the ground and dusted off sand. "Went off to her  
room. What happened back there anyway?" He unceremonously sat down beside the outlaw.   
"An argument of that proportion couldn't had just happened because of the saloon thing.   
Right?"   
  
Vash nodded, unusually quiet and serious. "The fight was unjustifiable. We were so pissed  
off at each other, I guess and it veered off towards another direction."  
  
"What?" Wolfwood was slightly confused. "What do you mean it turned to another . . . What  
really happened that night after the saloon went down?" Silence was his answer. He tried  
to peer into his companion's face and found the emotionless expression on the usually cheerful  
face quite disturbing.  
  
"Well, I. I mean we . . . "   
  
"Spill it out! What did you do?"   
  
". . . "  
  
"Come on! Tell me!"   
  
"All right. I . . . " The rest was mumbled so softly that Wolfwood coudn't catch what he had  
said. "Speak up!"  
  
"I kissed her, all right!"  
  
The black-clad man was stunned. Then shaking off his stupor, he asked, "Then why was she so  
pissed off? What the hell did you say to her?"   
  
"Nothing. Okay! One thing led to another and we ended up in her bedroom."   
  
"Whoa! That was quick, then what?"  
  
"It was horrible! She started becoming more and more aroused!"  
  
"And that's bad?"  
  
"She started screaming 'Knives! More! Harder!'"  
  
Wolfwood promptly fainted on that spot.  
  
  
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*Guess you didn't expect that. Didn't you?  
  
Glossary of Japanese terms:  
  
Senpai- Senior  
Tongari- Spiky headed (or something similar to 'Needle-Noggin')  
Demo- But  
Bokushi-san- Priest, but more associated with the Protestant religion  
  
  
  



End file.
